How to Have Sex in the Car
How do I even have sex in a car? And will I get in a lot of trouble if I'm caught?
Take it easy! No one is going to force you to have sex in a car. Just put the sock on the door and well leave you alone.
Your question, however, intrigued me, so I did some poking around in the sex world (Van Nuys, California), and it turns out that having sex in a car is very, very today. If caught, you won't get in too much trouble: Provided everyone is of legal age, all acts are consensual, you're not in public view, there aren’t any juveniles present in the area, there aren't any illegal drugs or weapons in the car, and no one's intoxicated or engaged in any acts that are specifically prohibited by statute, you (and perhaps your party) might get slapped with a public-indecency charge, an offense that can carry a fine of up to $1,000 and/or jail time.
Honestly, this car sex sounds like a pain in the ass, which might be why Eric Marlowe Garrison, sex counselor and author of the upcoming The Foreplay Bible, the latest bible to include an entire chapter of practical advice for having oral, anal, and even plain, God-fearing sex in cars, encourages couples to practice in private garages whenever possible.
"And I always recommend having an exit strategy," he says, with, I believe, no intended pun. "My rule for car sex is, if you wouldn't feel comfortable going there for a picnic during the day or even pulling over for hot chocolate at night — and those are the same amounts of time you'd need — I wouldn't recommend sex there." I don't know what all this has to do with hot chocolate, but I can't help thinking it might be better if adults practiced sex in a bed, inside, with the doors locked, while very drunk — or risk the very likely outcome of being just the latest in a long line of lovers slain by the legendary Zodiac killer, who, I might remind you, was never caught.
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